Test Essay reactions and Rater Commentary when it comes to Argument Task
The test essays that follow were written in reaction in to the prompt that seems below. The rater commentary that follows each essay that is sample the way the reaction fulfills the requirements for that score. For an even more complete comprehension of the requirements for every single score point, look at “Analyze an Argument” Scoring Guide.
In studies Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, sailing and fishing) among all of their favorite activities that are recreational. The Mason River flowing through the town is hardly ever useful for these activities, however, therefore the city park division devotes little of its spending plan to riverside that is maintaining facilities. For a long time there has been complaints from residents concerning the quality of this river’s water plus the river’s odor. In reaction, the state has announced intends to tidy up Mason River. Utilization of the river for water recreations is consequently certain to increase. The town government need for this reason devote more cash in this current year’s budget to riverside recreational facilities.
Write a response by which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions for the argument. Make sure to explain the way the argument relies on the presumptions and just just what the implications are in the event that presumptions prove unwarranted.
Essay Reaction — Score 6
This author’s argument does not make a cogent case for increased resources based on river use while it may be true that the Mason City government ought to devote more money to riverside recreational facilities. You can easily understand just why town residents would desire a cleaner river, but this argument is rife with holes and presumptions, and therefore, not strong adequate to lead to funding that is increased.
Citing studies of town residents, the writer reports town resident’s passion for water recreations. It is really not clear, but, the range and credibility of this study. For instance, the study may have expected residents when they choose making use of the river for water recreations or want to visit a hydroelectric dam built, which may have swayed residents toward river activities. The test may n’t have been representative of town residents, asking just those residents whom reside upon the river. The study may were 10 pages very very long, with 2 concerns focused on river activities. We simply don’t know. Unless the study is completely representative, legitimate, and dependable, it may perhaps perhaps perhaps not be employed to effortlessly back the writer’s argument.
Also, the writer means that residents don’t use the river for swimming, sailing, and fishing, despite their professed interest, because water is polluted and smelly. A concrete connection between the resident’s lack of river use and the river’s current state is not effectively made while a polluted, smelly river would likely cut down on river sports. Though there has been complaints, we don’t know if there has been many complaints from the wide array of individuals, or maybe from a single or two people who made many complaints. The author would benefit from implementing a normed survey asking a wide range of residents why they do not currently use the river to strengthen his/her argument.
Building upon the implication that residents don’t use the river as a result of the quality associated with river’s water while the odor, the writer implies that a river tidy up can lead to increased river use. In the event that river’s water quality and smell result from dilemmas that can be washed, this might be real. This conceivably could be remedied for example, if the decreased water quality and aroma is caused by pollution by factories along the river. If the quality and aroma outcomes through the normal calcium deposits in the water or surrounding stone, it isn’t really real. You can find systems of water which emit a good scent of sulphur as a result of the geography associated with the area. This isn’t one thing probably be afffected by a clean-up. Consequently, a river tidy up could have no effect upon river use. No matter whether the river’s quality has the capacity to be enhanced or perhaps not, the writer will not effortlessly show a match up between water quality and river use.
On a clean, breathtaking, safe river frequently contributes to a town’s property values, contributes to increased tourism and revenue from those that visited make use of the river, and a far better general standard of living for residents. For those reasons, city federal federal government might wish to invest in enhancing riverside leisure facilities. But, this writer’s argument just isn’t most most likely dramatically persuade the populous city goverment to allocate increased capital.
Rater Commentary for Essay Response — Score 6
This insightful reaction identifies crucial presumptions and completely examines their implications. The essay reveals that the proposition to pay more on riverside recreational facilities rests on three dubious presumptions, particularly:
- that the study offers a dependable foundation for budget preparation
- that the river’s pollution and smell will be the only reasons behind its restricted leisure use
- that efforts to clean the water and remove the odor shall achieve success
By showing that every presumption is very suspect, this essay demonstrates the Read More Here weakness associated with the whole argument. As an example, paragraph 2 highlights that the study may possibly not have utilized a representative test, could have provided restricted alternatives, and could have contained not many concerns on water-based activities.
Paragraph 3 examines the connection that is tenuous complaints and restricted utilization of the river for fun. Complaints about water quality and odor are originating from just a few individuals and|people that are few, whether or not such complaints are wide ranging, other very different facets might be even more significant in reducing river use. Finally, paragraph 4 describes that one geologic features may prevent effective river clean-up. Details such since these give compelling help.
In addition, careful company means that each brand new point develops upon the earlier people. As an example, note the clear transitions at the start of paragraphs 3 and 4, along with the rational series of sentences within paragraphs (specifically paragraph 4).
Even though this essay does include errors that are minor it nevertheless conveys some ideas fluently. Note the effective term alternatives (e.g., “rife with . . . presumptions” and “may have actually swayed residents”). In addition, sentences are not only varied; additionally they show skillful embedding of subordinate elements.
Since this response provides examination that is cogent of argument and conveys meaning skillfully, it earns a rating of 6.
Essay Reaction — Score 5
Mcdougal for this proposition to improve the cover Mason City riverside leisure facilities has an interesting argument but to go ahead regarding the proposition would certainly need additional information and thought. Although the correlations stated are rational and likely, concealed facets that prevent the City from diverting resources for this project.
for instance, look at the survey ratings among Mason City residents. is the fact that such regard that is high water recreations will lead to use. But, study responses can scarcely be applied as indicators of real behavior. Numerous studies carried out after winter season holiday breaks expose individuals who list workout and dieting being a priority that is top. Yet every occupation will not equal a gym membership that is new. perhaps the wording associated with study outcomes stay ambiguous and obscure. This allows for many other favorites while water sports may be among the residents’ favorite activities. What stays unknown may be the priorities associated with the average man or woman. Do they prefer these water-based activities above a softball soccer or industry field? Will they be happy to sacrifice the golf that is municipal for better riverside facilities? Certainly the study scarcely provides sufficient information to discern future usage of improved facilities.
Closely from the studies could be the bold presumption that a cleaner river can lead to increased usage. Even though it is maybe not illogical you may anticipate some enhance, at just what level will individuals start to utilize the river? this question calls for a study to get the reasons out our residents utilize or don’t use the river. Is river water quality the limiting that is primary to use or the not enough docks and piers? Are individuals keen on water-based activities compared to the recreational use that they truly are currently involved in? These concerns helps the town government forecast just how much river usage will increase also to designate a proportional enhance into the spending plan.
Likewise, the writer is positive concerning the continuing state vow to completely clean the river. We must notice of this sounds and think about any motives that are ulterior. Is it a campaign year while the plans a campaign vow through the state agent? What is the schedule for the effort that is clean-up? Will the continuing state fully fund this task? We are able to imagine the abuse of funds in renovating the riverside facilities simply to view the buildings that are new into dilapidation whilst hawaii drags the river clean-up.
Final, the writer will not start thinking about where these additional funds will be redirected from. The present spending plan situation should be examined to ascertain if this enhance may be afforded. The City may not be willing to draw money away from other key projects from road improvements to schools and education in a sense. The writer naively assumes that can just appear without forethought on where it will probably result from.
Examining all of the different perspectives and facets associated with enhancing riverside leisure facilities, the argument doesn’t justify increasing the spending plan. Whilst the proposal does highlight a chance, additional information justify any action.